Free Novel Read

St. George at Denbies


St George at Denbies

  Copyright Paul Hurst et al 2012

  Thank you for downloading this free ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. The individual authors retain and reserve their copyright. Thank you for your support.

  21.04.12

  Chapter 1: The Background

  About the venue

  Denbies English Vineyard is situated in Dorking, Surrey. An all weather destination, the "Indoor Wine Experience" tours operate all year, the Outdoor Vineyard Train runs daily from March - November.

  This beautiful estate set in 265 acres is the UK's largest single estate vineyard. Whether you are visiting Surrey or live locally Denbies offers a wide range of interests for all.

  About the event

  We English can be a bit reticent about celebrating our heritage, and in particular our National Saint’s Day. To rectify this, Denbies English Vineyard have been organising an annual St George’s Day Celebration Medieval Cellar Supper each year on Saturday 23rd April, with

  minstrels, jesters and magicians to royally entertain guests during a sumptuous medieval feast held in the atmospheric Denbies cellars.

  As the regular guests at Denbies tend to be a pretty bright lot, it has become the practice to hold a little creative competition. With no advance warning, and armed only with pencils and a bit of paper, they are invited to compete in a literary challenge, the prize of a bottle of Denbies’ finest sparkling in no way detracting from the kudos of being chosen and acknowledged by one’s peers. The winner is chosen by popular acclaim from a short list drawn up by the resident minstrels and jesters, but the final choice is made by the guests attending on the night

  Chapter 2: 2012

  A rather lively night(!), with many of the guests dressing up for the occasion. The competition this year was just for Limericks, so although some prose was submitted, only entries in the correct format got through to the final. Here is the overall winner, together with the finalists: PLEASE NOTE not for the delicate of temperament – as I said, it was rather a lively affair!

  Bob

  The maid drove along on her wagon

  But was trapped and enslaved by a dragon

  St. George slew the beast

  And she said that the least

  She could give was a jolly good sh….

  (sorry I couldn’t think of a rhyme)

  Julie

  St. George was quite the dandy

  Some say he was seriously randy

  The dragon he slayed

  Before he got laid

  But woke up with a wench called Andy

  Liz

  The dragon was not very nice

  He captured the maid in a trice

  But St. George killed it dead

  And the couple were fed

  On crispy fried dragon and rice

  (R.I.P. dragon)

  Nick

  St. George was a fine man indeed

  Just a little partial to mead

  Found drunk in a trench

  With a fine looking wench

  But was unable to sow his seed!

  Alan

  In Portugal, Brazil and Spain

  Each year a day off they all gain

  ‘cos on their Saints’ Days

  They sit in the sun and laze

  But we Brits have to work in the rain.

  Diane

  There was a young chap and a dragon

  A knife, a cup and a flagon

  Things got a bit jolly

  And George realised his folly

  So he fled double quick on his wagon

  Estelle Bibby

  A knight whilst dining at Denbies

  Considered his bevy of wenches

  He tried his luck

  But scored a duck

  And got relegated to the back benches

  Mistress Soupisle

  St. George he was a saint

  Took a dragon out on a date

  The last kiss of the night

  Gave him a terrible fright

  Left his meat and two veg on a plate

  DLL

  A chap called George was a saint

  Who always makes the ladies faint

  He got them to pose

  Without any clothes

  Then got out his brushes to paint